Funny Graduation Quotes
Graduate with Humor! Funny graduation quotes to keep you armed and hilarious. Short clean jokes and funny stuff for a sideways perspective on years of education at the hands of people who were mainly hoping you didn’t get sick in their classroom. Onward!
You may think you’ll never find your “dream job,” but trust me: If you set your goals high, and never ever give up, I guarantee you that one day you will find yourself working for a huge impersonal corporation run by morons. Everybody does!
Before I went to college, I made a little money painting houses part-time. But after I became a college educated man, I got serious about a career and began painting houses full-time.
– Bruce Cameron
Wearing colorful Converse high-tops beneath your graduation robe is a great way to tell your classmates that this is just the first of many horrible decisions you plan to make with the rest of your life.
– Conan O’Brien
This is your big day – the day when you jam four years worth of unlaundered underwear into a Hefty bag and leave college, prepared by your professors to go out into the Real World. The first thing you’ll notice is that your professors are not going out there with you. They’re not stupid; that’s why they’re professors.
– Dave Barry
At commencement you wear your square-shaped mortarboards. My hope is that from time to time you will let your minds be bold, and wear sombreros.
– Paul Freund
You will never have more energy or enthusiasm, hair or brain cells than you have today.
– Ray and Tom Magliozzi, Car Talk